- "I just don't know what I am going to do with this whole.... Singledom."
- Boy: You should come what this movie with us. Girl: No. I have to go call my boyfriend. We've been dating for 2 years now. We're like, so strong after he was 14 hours away last year....
- Girl 1: I stayed up until like 3 last night... Girl 2: ohemgee, was it cause a guy?!
Was it because I am an embittered single girl? Hardly (well I am at least going to tell myself that's not why.). It was the utter ridiculousness. That tone of optimism that the knowledgeable (slightly cynical?) me found annoying. We all get the same idea when coming to college. We will find a plethora of great, intelligent, cute boys with whom we will couple off with and skip marryly (spelling intentional) across the quad with. Then you get to Trinity and over time, things change. The reality that Trinity's dating scene begins to resemble an incestuous cesspool after a year (that gets muddier and murkier the more people you know.) slowly sinks in. So what's the deal? After talking with two close friends at lunch today, I realized it. There are 6kinds of guys at Trinity. That's right. 6 kinds. These types are probably found everywhere, but whatev. Here's what we came up with:
You know who I mean. Those amazing guys (or not even that amazing) that find a girl (THE girl?) and just start running the marathon. This guy ain't leavin' her for a while. We're talking years. Sure they may break up, but it doesn't happen in a timely manner. He is off the market for at least 12 months. Maybe longer. He might just marry her.
Cute. Ugly. Jerk. Sweetheart. This group is an amalgamation of personalities and temperaments. He may be hott or he may be a jerk, but if you know a guy that goes from one relationship to another, he's here. It's shocking. But they exist. They move around, they test water, he may be a hopeless romantic, or hopelessly pathetic. Alot of these guys will move from this category to the Lifer category when they finally find the one girl that doesn't (won't?) leave.
You know who I mean. It's great that he was drunk and you were drunk and the drunken conversation you shared lead to a drunken night together, but when the tequila haze clears, you may still think he's cute, but you know with every sober fiber of your being that he is not dateable. After the Walk of Shame (for him or you) ends, you're left with some awkward run-ins on campus, but you certainly aren't doodling his last name on your notebook. This is probably the most permeable category. Because one woman's (or multiple women) trash, errr I mean hookup, is another woman's soulmate. Fact.
Let's face it: at a place like Trinity, this is bound to happen. This group includes the painfully awkward, painfully immature, or just the awkward guys that don't fit in another category. Whether he can't talk to a girl out of nervousness or shouldn't talk to a girl out of immaturity, this category is all encompassing. I am sure you have met a few guys that are really sweet, but really sweet doesn't mean dateable. One day, they will grow up/grow confident/grow? and make a great boyfriend/fiance/husband. But that day is so not here.
These last two categories are mentioned last because they usually go unmentioned or unnoticed. But you may know one or two guys that fit in here:
You know it's happened. You log onto Facebook and see that John and Jane broke up and while you are sad for them, that little voice in your head asks "so wait, he's single?" Usually John and Jane were a Lifer couple. The last couple you may expect to end. But when it's done, John, who is quite the catch, has landed into an empty pond with more than one fisherwoman on the prowl. It's horrible. But that's why no one talks about it. Doesn't mean it doesn't exist. We just keep quiet, comfort Jane, and evaluate when the grieving/rebound period will be over and when John can find his next marathon. You obviously.
No I don't mean guys that aren't even worth mentioning. I mean those sweet, intelligent, cute, and awesome guys that just. Don't. Date. It's not a defect. It's just how they are. For whatever reason, they remain single. They walk on a plane apart from the Hookups, Lifers, Suddenlys, Totes Awks, and Merry-Go-Rounders. They are coveted but remain oblivious (?though this fact is unproven). I mention them down here because not every girl is aware of their existence. But they exist. Like an empty house without a for-sale sign, they exist quietly. Quietly avoiding the game....
So that's it. The Trinity Caste.